If My Dog Could Talk

• Dog:
  WAT DOING
• Me:
  Nothing. I just stood up.
• Dog:
  WHERE GO
• Me:
  I'm literally walking 3 feet away. I'm not even leaving the room.
• Dog:
  CAN I COME
• Me:
  I mean sure but I'm literally just-
• Dog:
  I COME TOO
• Dog:
  WAT DOING
• Me:
  I need to open this door.
• Dog:
  I HALP
• Me:
  No but you're in front of the door. Move please.
• Dog:
  I HALP
• Me:
  Sigh.
• Dog:
  WHERE GOING
• Me:
  I am going right back to the exact place I was sitting a second ago.
• Dog:
  CAN I COME
• Me:
  Sure.
• Dog:
  I SIT IN LAP
• Me:
  No please don't you are-
• Dog:
  I SIT IN LAP
• Me:
  No there's no room and-
• Dog:
  LAP
• Me:
  No, sit on the floor and I'll pet you.
• Dog:
  RIGHT HERE
• Me:
  That's literally on top of my leg.
• Dog:
  IT'S PERFECT PET ME
• Me:
  I am petting you. One second, let me just grab my glass-
• Dog:
  PET ME PET ME PET ME PET ME
• Me:
  I literally am petting you, I just needed a drink-
• Dog:
  PET ME PET ME PET ME PET ME
• Me:
  I AM
• Dog:
  I SIT IN LAP
• Dog:
  PET ME PET ME PET ME
• Dog:
  HOLD SLOBBER TOY
• Dog:
  SNEEZE IN UR FACE
• Me:
  .......